Ford Trucks to come with Laser Beams

Reminiscent of Dr. Evil in Austin Powers, the next generation of Ford vehicles will come equipped with laser beams to ignite that pesky gasoline that they will still insist on using. Researchers at Liverpool University have finally done something useful with all that grant money that they get and have figured out that laser beams can ignite a combustible mixture (this is new?) and have sold this undoubtedly patented idea to Ford, because GM and Chrysler were too broke and the European automakers are all selling diesel engines which don’t need anything besides compression to ignite.

I could have saved them all a lot of money on this idea. Simply go to Smokey Yunick’s website and purchase the man’s autobiography. In it you will learn all sorts of things about the early days of NASCAR, getting high in the jungles of Peru, getting laid at Indy and his experiments on replacing spark plugs with other flame sources.

From Smokey’s account of the Carrea Panamerica :

In Mexico City we work on car at the Hudson dealership. We can’t speak Spanish, but the dealer’s got a 15 or 16 year old son. A real nice guy and helper. He’s going with us as our interpreter. (Good idea as it turned out.) Gotta have a place to stay for five days. Taxi driver says “Go to Angel’s, best place in town” Angel’s is a big house, 15 bucks a day for room and three meals…free booze part of rent…free hookers and dirty movies all day and night…all for 15 bucks a day. Yes, it was all good… for a dose of the crabs…quite an interesting place.